im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Mom said you looked used
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
