Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
