Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he thought i was a dude.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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