Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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