Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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