I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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