like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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