how can u be prego again
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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