As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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