the condom got lost in my hair
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
