U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
