please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
