I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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