Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
