dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
im holly from the hills drunk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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