He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
