lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
