:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
