physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize