and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
