I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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