Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
