Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
