I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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