just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
