I think im going to throw up on grandma
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
