That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
