Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
