we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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