It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
