My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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