I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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