I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
