You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
this just has baby written all over it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
