he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
