I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
