So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
