I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
