y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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