Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
