I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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