Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
