I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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