Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
