5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
