You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
