im drinking this country out of the recession.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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