I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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