Porn is love you can see.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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