what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
