i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
